This past few months, I`ve learn about people, love and relationships. Both by reading articles and experiencing. But what I realized is that it doesn`t only work on love and relationships but also in our lives. Yes, everyday lives. In everything. When I tell this to people, most of them say that being like this is not good. That it is evil.
If I told you right now that the answer to your life problems is to BE SELFISH, will you be selfish? I don`t think so. Why? Because the word "selfish" has put a different meaning to our minds. When you heard the word selfish, you think about not giving and not caring about other people but yourself. The true meaning of selfish is being yourself, being happy, being comfortable of who you are. It does not have anything to do about other people. It`s all about you. Therefore, it`s not bad, it`s not evil. Because other people doesn`t matter. When other people doesn`t matter, you can`t hurt them, you can`t care for them. It`s not that you don`t care, but you CAN`T care. Because they DON`T MATTER to you. Because you`re focused on YOURSELF only. YOU AND YOURSELF. Being selfish is good. Because you can be who you want to be, you can be happy.
In a relationship, being selfish is important, too. Because if you`re not selfish, you would be selfless. Selfless means caring about others before your own self. How can you care about other people if you don`t care about yourself? You can`t give something you don`t have. You can`t give happiness if you`re not happy. YOU CAN`T BE SELFLESS IF YOU`RE NOT SELFISH. And the most important part is, you can`t give your everything for the one you love. Unless you want to have a miserable life. If you gave everything for that one person, what would be left for you? NOTHING. I will repeat, YOU CAN`T GIVE SOMETHING YOU DON`T HAVE.
In a relationship, if you feel that you can`t live without your partner, then you have to stop right there! Because that`s where it all starts. Feelings. It ruins your life. You have to re-think about your relationship. When you feel that you can`t live without them, it means that your world revolves around them. It means you don`t have a life. Which means, your life is your PARTNER. They can`t be your life, no one can be your life. But you. You`re lacking your life, that`s why when they leave you(whether they don`t love you anymore or they past away), you have nothing left. You feel empty. Lonely.
This are probably my favorite quotes about relationships. Take a look and read it slowly and really think about what it`s trying to say.
"A relationship is about two people who maintain their own lives but create another one together."
"I pity the woman who truly believes I need her. I am a whole person, a complete individual on my own. I do not need a girl to "complete me". This does not mean I would not appreciate a nice fella`. It just means I am a human, capable of functioning with or without a woman by my side."
"A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows open. Plenty of air is circulating and no one feels trapped. Relationships thrive in this environment. Keep your doors and windows open. If this person is meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world won`t make them leave."
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