It`s been quite a while since I last posted here! Actually, it`s been forever! September 2012 was the last time I posted here and a lot has happened since then...
College. It`s been a roller coaster ride since I enter this college life. For so many years I have waited, I`m finally a college student in the country I wanted to live in. I was probably one of the happiest person when I found out that I`m officially a college student to this university I`m currently going in, Centro Escolar University (CEU). After four months of being here, being a college student, I could say that I spent it wisely. Maybe not on other things like going to every party there is, hanging out with old friends or going to different places, but on my college life, I was so active, so energetic and so focused that everything that happened so far was totally all worth it. Learned a lot of lessons, not only those things they teach in school but also about being independent, being more confident, friendship, love, and about who I am. I felt like I was in the right place and at the right time. I was on the right track of my life. And all the sacrifices and the hard work was definitely worth it.
Friendship. One thing I was so worried was this, having friends. I`m a really friendly guy but I don`t really get well along with others. Being away for seven years, my personality changed. I was used to what I was back in Japan. Where I could say that I have a lot of friends but I don`t really have one. It was really hard for me being comfortable with someone, even my own friends. But when I get here, when I enter college, everything changed again. It felt like I was normal again. It felt so good when I found my circle of friends. Yeah, most of them are a little younger than me. Yeah, some of them are still a bit immature but I found myself comfortable with them and that`s all that matters to me. Maybe it`s only been four months but being with them almost everyday, I knew they are the one I was looking for for a long time. So I didn`t waste any time to get to know them, to be part of them, yes, maybe sometimes I tried too hard and tried to fit in because sometimes I can still feel the loneliness I felt before. But even when I don`t, everything comes naturally and I`m really glad they are the ones I met. We`re still getting to know each other. And I know this is not a short term thing, this is a long process that takes trust, courage, understanding and faith. The first semester of this year is almost over. Some will be separated, some will have to go, but one thing I`m sure of is what I felt when I`m with them will never change and will always be a part of me, of who I became.
Love. Before I come back here in the Philippines, I promised myself that I won`t be entering any kind of relationship until I`m ready again or until I want to be in it again. But not so long after I got here, my future was almost changed. Maybe I wasn`t really in a relationship but we still had something between us. I just broke the promise I made to myself. But I don`t regret it. I don`t regret what happened, what I did or what I was involved with. Again, it taught me a great lesson. And the memories will be treasured forever. Then not so long after that, actually while in it, I fell in love with this one girl. I knew myself that she would be perfect for me and I would be perfect for her. I let it go because I know it wasn`t right and that I`m not sure of anything yet. One thing I was sure was that I like her and I`m falling for her. I found some good enough reasons that I should go for it and I did. And it was a total mess. I was a mess. Everything was good in my head but when I actually do it, it was more difficult and more complicated than I expected. Maybe the time isn`t right yet, maybe it`s her, maybe it`s me, maybe it`s what surrounds us, or maybe we`re just not really meant to be in that kind of relationship. What we are now and what we have now is one thing I will always appreciate and enjoy. But I will never lose hope until my heart gives up on her.
I made mistakes, took risks, learned lessons, achieved things, gained friends, gained confidence, hurt someone, experienced new things and learned more about myself. I don`t believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that what you reap is what you sow. Problems come and go, people come and go, things come and go. But when you have a positive outlook in life, nothing or no one can ever bring you down.
College. It`s been a roller coaster ride since I enter this college life. For so many years I have waited, I`m finally a college student in the country I wanted to live in. I was probably one of the happiest person when I found out that I`m officially a college student to this university I`m currently going in, Centro Escolar University (CEU). After four months of being here, being a college student, I could say that I spent it wisely. Maybe not on other things like going to every party there is, hanging out with old friends or going to different places, but on my college life, I was so active, so energetic and so focused that everything that happened so far was totally all worth it. Learned a lot of lessons, not only those things they teach in school but also about being independent, being more confident, friendship, love, and about who I am. I felt like I was in the right place and at the right time. I was on the right track of my life. And all the sacrifices and the hard work was definitely worth it.
Friendship. One thing I was so worried was this, having friends. I`m a really friendly guy but I don`t really get well along with others. Being away for seven years, my personality changed. I was used to what I was back in Japan. Where I could say that I have a lot of friends but I don`t really have one. It was really hard for me being comfortable with someone, even my own friends. But when I get here, when I enter college, everything changed again. It felt like I was normal again. It felt so good when I found my circle of friends. Yeah, most of them are a little younger than me. Yeah, some of them are still a bit immature but I found myself comfortable with them and that`s all that matters to me. Maybe it`s only been four months but being with them almost everyday, I knew they are the one I was looking for for a long time. So I didn`t waste any time to get to know them, to be part of them, yes, maybe sometimes I tried too hard and tried to fit in because sometimes I can still feel the loneliness I felt before. But even when I don`t, everything comes naturally and I`m really glad they are the ones I met. We`re still getting to know each other. And I know this is not a short term thing, this is a long process that takes trust, courage, understanding and faith. The first semester of this year is almost over. Some will be separated, some will have to go, but one thing I`m sure of is what I felt when I`m with them will never change and will always be a part of me, of who I became.
Love. Before I come back here in the Philippines, I promised myself that I won`t be entering any kind of relationship until I`m ready again or until I want to be in it again. But not so long after I got here, my future was almost changed. Maybe I wasn`t really in a relationship but we still had something between us. I just broke the promise I made to myself. But I don`t regret it. I don`t regret what happened, what I did or what I was involved with. Again, it taught me a great lesson. And the memories will be treasured forever. Then not so long after that, actually while in it, I fell in love with this one girl. I knew myself that she would be perfect for me and I would be perfect for her. I let it go because I know it wasn`t right and that I`m not sure of anything yet. One thing I was sure was that I like her and I`m falling for her. I found some good enough reasons that I should go for it and I did. And it was a total mess. I was a mess. Everything was good in my head but when I actually do it, it was more difficult and more complicated than I expected. Maybe the time isn`t right yet, maybe it`s her, maybe it`s me, maybe it`s what surrounds us, or maybe we`re just not really meant to be in that kind of relationship. What we are now and what we have now is one thing I will always appreciate and enjoy. But I will never lose hope until my heart gives up on her.
I made mistakes, took risks, learned lessons, achieved things, gained friends, gained confidence, hurt someone, experienced new things and learned more about myself. I don`t believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that what you reap is what you sow. Problems come and go, people come and go, things come and go. But when you have a positive outlook in life, nothing or no one can ever bring you down.
